We all know about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Y’know, that pyramid thing that has WiFi photoshopped at the bottom that shows humankind’s most desperate survival requirements.

I’m only going to focus on the bottom 2 rungs – because let’s face it; you’re not gonna get them all at uni. And those are the only things that are really necessary anyway. I mean, “Fulfillment”, “Lover”, “Recognition”? LOL


Note the sample size; average speed might actually vary quite a bit. Wired internet (e.g in computer labs) is very fast.

We get WiFi. It’s pretty good. Better than what I’m used to back in Malaysia or Auckland suburbs anyway 😉 You’ll need it to survive lectures. I mean what.

1) Food
Wouldn’t it be nicer if we didn’t need to eat? Think of all the dollars we’d save! What would we even spend it on?!

OK, so how do poor uni students actually get food? I live in the halls so I don’t worry about food. However if you ever get tired of the food there, just take a walk around campus. Really look around. There’s one word that you’ll see being thrown around A LOT. Can you guess what it is?


Free pizza, free Whoppers, free cake, free ice cream, free condoms. You really can’t go wrong just wandering around campus looking at sidewalks, lampposts, and noticeboards. That’s where you need to brush up on your reading skills, i.e. dissecting Auckland Uni’s confusing room names. (more on that in a later blog post) It’s also a great way to meet new people, but I don’t socialize so what do I know about that?

You might need to sit through a few company sales pitches interesting talks, but it’s all worth it in the end. Who doesn’t love free stuff?! Bask in the glory of my trash stash.

Absent: Free coffee cup, 2 pairs of free socks.

2) Water
Being hungry is one thing, but don’t be dehydrated. Thankfully, you can get water pretty much everywhere! Too cheap for a water bottle? Drink directly from the fountains. This isn’t a skill I’ve mastered yet, but you do you. Alternatively, remember what I said about FREE?

3) Warmth

We have fine weather, don’t we?

LOL, you’re in Auckland, it gets like, what? 10°C out here? Or if you’re from a tropical climate like me, huddle around the Hall’s industrial freakin’ toaster when it’s cold. More on that in a later post.

4) Air

I’m an expert on Air. I breathe Air all the time. Air is good. There’s plenty of Air in Auckland. Never a shortage of Air here.

5) Rest

Forget it.

(Happy April Fools Day everyone!)