I have three very big assignments due within the next week and a half, but unfortunately I caught a serious case of procrastination. While I was staring into space (when I should’ve been starting on my assignments) I thought about how the schedule I wrote in my diary didn’t pan out at all. Then I thought about how my life turned out completely different to how I planned as well.
I was and still am a planner. I used to plan years ahead always looking to the future.
Five years ago I was 14 years old. I had just ‘graduated’ middle school and was about to make the biggest move I had ever gone through, to New Zealand. I never wanted to move to New Zealand, I was actually super bitter about it for quite a long time. I planned to move back to California the second I graduated and attend community college and later California State University, Long Beach. I had it all mapped out – my finances, where I was going to stay, the beaches I would study at, the jobs I would apply to and even the way I was going to decorate my non-existent room. Yes, it is fair to say I was an obsessive, unrealistic planner.
I had this idea that my dreams and goals were concrete. Man, I was so wrong. I never thought I would end up falling in love with New Zealand. I thought I would never have the opportunity to live in a dorm/hall. I thought I was never going to be good enough to go to a top tier university like UoA. My life is so much more different than I could have ever imagined – my relationships with family have evolved/grown, I’ve gained beautiful friendships, I have become a stronger and better person. Of course, when things don’t go to plan it also means some things were sacrificed. I lost relationships, grew up way too fast, didn’t go to go to school in California and still have not gotten the room of my dreams. But my life is richer and deeper than I had ever imagined.
I don’t plan that excessively anymore because I now understand that no matter how hard you plan for the future, it will never prepare you for what’s to come. Life has a way of taking control, whether you like it or not. If you’re a planner like me please do me a favor and remember to look up from your diary and be present from time to time. It’s good to plan to an extent and have goals, but also be present and comforted by the idea that life will take care of you. When things don’t go to plan it feels like the absolute worst, yet when you look back you’ll realise that your life is richer than you could have even planned.
So yes, do work towards your goals and plan ahead. However, if things aren’t panning out the way you dreamed it’s definitely not the end of the world. Life may just be leading you to something that will surpass your deepest desires.
Until next time, Eunice
P.S. Can someone please send me some medicine for my procrastination?